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Joke of the Day

"Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence.. For example ""Ben is in a hurry."" ""Ben is in a coma."""

"My date asked me if I smoked after sex. I told her ""I dunno, I've never checked."""

"I love posting spam. Although, I've been warned again by the Royal Mail not to mail bits of meat in the post."

"I was told that hardcore Christians don't think anal counts as losing your virginity so that's why pastors get off scot free"

"My boss fired me because I didn't attend the meeting as I had to answer an important call. Apparently nature's call doesn't count as important to him"

"I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"[pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet... PRODUCER: *yawns*...and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit"

"MRW when I heard about the Super Fine Bros. thing that's going on. [deleted for trademark infringement]"

"What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog."

"I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!"