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Joke of the Day

"I was told that hardcore Christians don't think anal counts as losing your virginity so that's why pastors get off scot free"

"Pokemon go should contact Hillary Clinton. I hear she has some servers"

"What do you call a Mexican in Canada? ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!"

"I have a mice problem so I lay out tiny red and blue bandanas in hopes they start a west coast/east coast thing and take care of each other."

"Only 2010's kids will get this... Measles"

"How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave hello!"

"Mr. Tripler, your U.S. Patent request for ""YO I WANNA PATENT MY NEIGHBORS CAT MORPHEUS SO HE MINE NOW"" has been declined."

"Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands... Police say that he topped himself."

"Sometimes I zone out and forget what I'm supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer."

"Why I Could Never Be Gay As A Man. NSFW I could never fuck something i respect."