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Joke of the Day

"My boss fired me because I didn't attend the meeting as I had to answer an important call. Apparently nature's call doesn't count as important to him"

Next Joke
 
"Jimmy has 36 candy bars, and he eats 28. What does Jimmy have? Diabetes. Jimmy has diabetes."
"Whenever I'm nervous on a business call, I just envision the person on the other end of the phone as a muppet."
"Why didn't the kayak owner and yacht owner get along? They didn't have ships in common."
"What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda"
"If Jesus loves me how come he's never liked a single one of my instagram selfies"
"Did you hear about the Holy Cow? Some say he was legend-dairy."
"What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait? He's way too self-absorbent"
"One time I intentionally asked a thin woman ""when she was due"" because I was bored. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm into extreme sports."
"*hairstylist holds mirror behind my head after styling my hair* ""Is that ok for you sir?"" ""Yes that is a beautiful mirror. I'll take it"""