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Joke of the Day

"What gets longer when pulled... Fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole and works best when jerked? -- -- A seatbelt!"

"A fortune cookie told me I'd receive an important message soon. The message in the bottle told me the fortune cookie was poisoned."

"Damn, i got hit with the ""we need to talk"" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention."

"I got caught having sex with the secretary by my wife My wife was crying and saying you cant do this to me! I said: I Know thats why im doing it to her!"

"What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"What stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin, it says in the scripture that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 3 miles to the next town."

"Burlap pants are coming into fashion, People are just itching to show off the new look."

"Just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife. Best trade I've ever made"

"What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in the fog? [nsfw] At least when you are eating pussy, you can see the asshole infront of you."

"*sticks hand into jean pocket* Aw damn, why in the hell do I have bbq sauce in my pocket? *checks other pocket and finds nuggets* Oh, ok."