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Joke of the Day

"I got caught having sex with the secretary by my wife My wife was crying and saying you cant do this to me! I said: I Know thats why im doing it to her!"

"watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college"

"Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital? ''Doctor Dolittle.'' EDIT: The doctor off that movie that talks to the animals."

"What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks? &nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac"

"I know she wanted to be cremated, and I know she didn't want a formal funeral... ...But was a ""Family Barbecue"" really the best idea?"

"there's no attractive way to chase a ping pong ball"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You would think it's the r.... But it's really the c "

"""Go ahead, caller...."" ""Mom, you have to stop answering your phone that way."""

"Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin. One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales"

"Always helpful... Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot."