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Joke of the Day

"A fortune cookie told me I'd receive an important message soon. The message in the bottle told me the fortune cookie was poisoned."

"My favorite part of the bible is when god gives people free will and then kills everyone with a flood for not acting the way he wanted ."

"Wearing a wig is probably worth the hassle for those moments when you get to dramatically pull it off your weary, tearful head."

"So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now. Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved"

"Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house? ...the guy likes his power chords too much."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say Hello... From the other side"

"BREAKING NEWS: Scientists sneak up on Periodic Table, add element of Surprise"

"Do insurance companies consider property damages caused by ISIS... an act of god?"

"What toy should you never buy a Jewish child? A Bulldozer!"