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Joke of the Day

"If you're going to insult the Amish, do it to their face. You kinda have to. They're never gonna see it online."

"Did you hear the one about a pony with a cough? It was a little horse."

"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."

"Just because this is a public space doesn't mean my tweets are meant for ALL of you to read! Please respect my privacy at this time!!!"

"orange in the 60s, mus in the 70s, poon in the 80s, wu in the 90s. - the history of tang"

"In California, there's just ""pot"" at the end of the rainbow."

"If ""Cops"" has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they're nothing but trouble..."

"Apparently, I've got Rationalitis. I wouldn't know if it weren't for the check-up; it's asymptotic."

"Dyslexia The difference between baking ricin vs. rice pudding for your friends and family this holiday season."

"If 50 is the new 30, then Dead is the new 80."