199688

Joke of the Day

"Damn, i got hit with the ""we need to talk"" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention."

"I recently bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer... I dunno what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"How to stop Facebook Live and Marketplace notifications: 1) Open Facebook app 2) Go to Settings 3) Throw your phone into a river"

"Gene Therapy The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder. This is the place for wordplay, right?"

"One of the best ways to disguise the sound of a fart is to do it during the 4 claps in the Friends theme song."

"Style of break up: Boy bought gift for His Girl friend- GF:Wat the hell would I do with this rocket? Boy: U wanted stars na? Now sit on it and GET LOST"

"There's something about curling... ... that rubs me the wrong way."

"Tip of the day: When there's a will...find a way to be in it!"

"I hope Jeb Bush wins the primaries Then takes Dick Cheney as his running mate. There campaign slogan would be ""same dick, new bush."""

"Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean? Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss"