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Joke of the Day

"What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters? They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities."

"Repeat after me: It doesn't matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won't solve it."

"5 year old son: I want to be a boxer. Me: I think you're too cute to be a boxer. 5: Yes, that is what everybody will think."

"My family crest is just a photo of someone letting it go to voicemail."

"What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once."

"To stay safe in a fire, remember the acronym ""DBOF"": Don't Be On Fire"

"i wish my grandmother was alive to see the iPad air her mind would have been absolutely BLOWN AWAY. she loved her gen 4 iPad."

"Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John proceeds to break into tears as his mother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she doesn't even remember him."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And a table. And some chairs."

"What do straight guys and lesbians have in common? They both like girls"