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Joke of the Day
"To stay safe in a fire, remember the acronym ""DBOF"": Don't Be On Fire"
Next Joke
"How does Hilary Clinton clean her glasses? By wiping the mainframe."
"I remember when my grad father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."
"If a boy touches your... Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say ""don't"" and if he touches your pussy say ""stop""? Daughter: But mom, he touched both so I said ""don't stop"""
"Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers in the winter time? To keep Hillary's chin warm!"
"Costco is a great place to go if you want to shop for 15 minutes and then stand in line and judge people for an hour."
"Realized woman behind me at self-checkout line was from DMV. Made her wait 4 hours for her turn. Revenge is sweet."
"What do pirates call fat whores? LAND HO!"
"I got fired today from my summer job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way"
"Why did God give man a penis? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up."