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Joke of the Day

"My family crest is just a photo of someone letting it go to voicemail."

"Where can i learn the skyrim dovah language and daedric too? In the complete opposite direction of a vagina."

"Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest."

"I'll tell you what i know about dwarves Very little. Its okay, i can say that. They look up to me."

"Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Annetta ! Annetta who ? Annetta joke like that and you're off this bus !"

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens didn't exist yet."

"I'm on the fermented barley diet... and I've never felt better."

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being *special*"

"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"