62571

Joke of the Day

"5 year old son: I want to be a boxer. Me: I think you're too cute to be a boxer. 5: Yes, that is what everybody will think."

"coining ""twoosh"", a contraction of tweet-swoosh. It's when your tweet hits exactly 140 characters sans editing. Nothing but net."

"Things I learnt from Avatar: - Kill Smurfs while they're still young."

"I'm emotionally constipated... Haven't given a shit in days."

"INTERVIEWER: Says here you do magic tricks? ME: *hands him back his business card* Is this your card? INTERVIEWER: holy shit"

"What do you call a woman who thinks she can do everything a man can do. Carol."

"a baby seal walks into a club.."

"According to Einstein, ""Everything is relative."" Sort of like the marriages in Alabama."

"I like my women like I like my wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh IN THE JUNGLE THE MIGHTY JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIIIIIIIIGHT"

"My vocabulary is so poor... I can not express it in words."