203517

Joke of the Day

"Nobody understands how hard it is for a smooth lover like me... It's tough to find a new lover whenever my girlfriend gets her first pubes."

"*Bee lands on flower covered in another flower's pollen* FLOWER: What's that? BEE: I can explain F: I don't want to hear your lies, Ian"

"so a law school student walks into a bar- -exam and walks out a lawyer! good job I'm so proud of him."

"The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house. I didn't know what to make of it."

"Whats the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scottish man The Rolling Stone says, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud."" and the Scottish man says, ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe."""

"I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!"

"What do you call it when a group of people in a single vehicle travel through a lengthy underpass? Carpool tunnel!"

"What does E.T. stand for? Freedom of speech"

"Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend"

"What do you call a happy wizard? Optimystical"