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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scottish man The Rolling Stone says, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud."" and the Scottish man says, ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe."""

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"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anthea ! Anthea who ? Anthea get home by 8 O'clock or else !"
"If it looks like a fish and smells like a fish... Shes's probably too old for you."
"""I love the fall!"" - girls who are happy they don't have to suck in their stomach in pictures anymore"
"my gang colors are taupe and beige"
"Why did Adele cross the road to say hello from the other side"
"[dark alley] Here's the $3 million, thanks again for this, be sure to send pictures. Kidnapper: Wait, don't you want your kids back?"
"""My wife is such a racist... she won't let me date black girls."" -Andy Breckman"
"Me: ""Can I have a few extra days off before Christmas?"" Boss: ""It's May."" Me: ""Sorry, may I have a few days off before Christmas?"""
"I was thinking about perfect spirals in the restroom, I now know why its called the ""golden"" ratio."