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Joke of the Day

"so a law school student walks into a bar- -exam and walks out a lawyer! good job I'm so proud of him."

"I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says ""oh great, dinner and a show."" Priceless."

"why do jewish men get circumcisions? because jewish women wont touch anything that isn't 10% off..."

"Saw Robin Hood. Basically it's a film about stealing 13 dollars from evil movie-goers and giving it to the studios."

"**What do you call it when an asian family has a feud** **LONG** division"

"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."

"A blind guy walks into a bar... not a joke, this happens all the time."

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar He orders a martini. The bartender asks, ""Olive or twist?"""

"Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself."

"I went to the doctor last week for a bad headache When he reached for his pen to write my prescription, he pulled out a rectal thermometer. ""Shit"", he said, ""Some asshole has my pen."""