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Joke of the Day

"A politician in an ancient civilization... He'll only just babble on."

"A guy shows up late for work Off to work A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"My computer is so slow . . . . . . I get a progress bar when I copy and paste . . . text."

"Whats worse than being adopted Being adopted twice."

"I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend. Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park."

"I've never actually finished the song ""Rock Your Body"" by Justin Timberlake because I'm afraid I'll be naked by the end."

"I wasn't going to have a cardiac transplant But then I had a change of heart"

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. That was on South Park last night and made me lose it."

"I have two dance styles: Sober, dancing silly as a ""joke"" or drunk dancing with confidence, same exact moves."

"If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony."