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Joke of the Day

"I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend. Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park."

"What do you call it, when you stick a bunch of noodles up your bum Pennetration"

"Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y? Because why emcee, eh?"

"Everyone uses body wash these days. What happened to good old-fashion soap? Is it too basic?"

"Why is Xbox 360's successor called Xbox One and not Xbox 720? Cos 720 is 1"

"Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own."

"Your stick figure family window sticker promotes an unrealistic and unhealthy body image for your children."

"Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are."

"2 monkeys in the bath. One says to the other... ""Ooh ah ah ah uh uh ooh ah ah ah ah aaah"" The other says... ""Do you want me to put some more cold in?"""