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Joke of the Day

"I just heard a beautiful poem... ""I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig, we all dig."" I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep."

"Wife: Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! Me: Haha funny. [under the mattress] Bed Bug King: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL *tiny drums bang*"

"WISE MAN #1: I brought gold for the babe WISE MAN #2: frankincense WISE MAN #3: myrrh ME: *pulls out Chili's gift card* I hate you guys"

"The worst thing about babies is how little they appreciate all the sleep they get."

"How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ? it has a blue light !"

"Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter."

"Two Flordia football players have been suspended for Saturday's game vs. Tennessee for refusing to take a urine test... I guess you might say urine or your out."

"Hamlet gets a cough So, Hamlet is admitted to a hospital for a cough. He asks the doctors: ""TB or not TB"""

"Knock Knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No you're a poo!"

"Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street...... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close."