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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about babies is how little they appreciate all the sleep they get."

"If your child builds a snow fort, by law, they have to move out and reside in it."

"It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me."

"In the morning, I woke up on the floor next to my bed. I must have fell asleep."

"My wife said i was being immature, so i told her to get the fuck out of my fort."

"Oh, you said floppy DISK. *pulls pants back up* Yeah, I don't know what that is."

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another"

"What did the Ethiopian Government say when the United States sent over 1 million condoms to promote safe sex? Thanks for the sleeping bags"

"You know what grinds a Germans gear? Nothing, they are too well engineered. Edit: Spelling"

"Breaking up with Asians is so hard. You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."