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Joke of the Day
"Why don't Junior League debutantes like group sex? Too many Thank You notes to write."
Next Joke
"On our third date, my girlfriend told me that she was bisexual. I broke it off with her because I definitely need sex more than every two weeks."
"What do you call someone without any shins? Toeknee."
"How does an Australian clean is bum? Bidet, mate."
"What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey? Rope and chains."
"Twitter's original name was ""Sentence Contest"""
"The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest."
"Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey"
"One time I got stuck holding a Starbucks door open from 2005-2007."
"I read quantum physics magazines for the particles."