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Joke of the Day

"One time I got stuck holding a Starbucks door open from 2005-2007."

"What kind of quack doctor prescribes an odd number of pills for OCD?!"

"If u wear headphones Upside down...... will the sound be upside down too? HA!"

"BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl."

"Knock knock Who's there? Dave. Oh hi Dave, what's new? *The Boss Faints*"

"Dating black girls is the best When you go over to their house, you never have to worry about meeting their dads"

"A Spanish speaking magician says that he will disappear on the count of three. ""Uno.. Dos.."" and poof! He was gone without a tres."

"Heard this one from my little brother. Poor Timmy... Him: Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Me: why? Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Him: Not Timmy."

"Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says ""one second,"" wait more than one second before entering."

"Time really flies by. Seems like only yesterday I was just a young apprentice-bater."