199547

Joke of the Day

"If you are trading Cephalopods, it's important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value. You know.... Squid Pro Quo"

"If only plastic surgeons also sold class."

"Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road? it got stuck in a crack"

"Happy new year!! Brrrrrr it's cold outside... It has to be the coldest day of the year!!!"

"Whats the difference between a catholic priest and acne? The priest doesn't wait for you to hit puberty to come on your face."

"I'm texting nothing but ugly girls from now on. They text back so fast!"

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said ""attentive lovers""... ...actually she might have said ""A tent of lovers"", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"

"Two eggs and a piece of bacon walk into a bar The bartender asks them to leave. They all ask why. Bartender says, ""We don't serve breakfast here."""

"*Throws up some gang signs* *stabs self in eye with salad fork* Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down."