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Joke of the Day

"Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with ""I see the assassins have failed."""

"I saw a documentary about how ships are held together It was riveting"

"I'm a suicide bomber with confidence issues, AMA! EDIT: Wow, this blew up!"

"Where do geneticists store vegetables? In the CRISPR drawer"

"How girls put on their pants: *Left leg* *Right leg* *Wiggle* *Wiggle* *Jump* *Jump* *Squat* *Stretch* Done.."

"What does a terrorist in Antarctica say? Allahu Akburrrrrr"

"You know the difference between 2 dicks and a joke is? You can't take a joke."

"I love the new Upvote noise Reddit made... Thank you."

"How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed? They're the one's wearing the left-handed 'meats'!"

"I hate it when I get my days mixed up and I accidentally take my stupid wife out instead of my girlfriend."