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Joke of the Day

"""Do you need a ride?"" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Donald Trump."

"I never use the term ""feminazi""... Because the Nazis actually got stuff done. Edit: Thanks for all the love and hate Reddit."

"What's long,hard,and full of Seamen ? SS This Dick. naval battalion"

"Sometimes I picture my wedding and other times I take off one pant leg stare into nothing for 15 minutes then take off the other leg"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? ""Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"""

"Why did the power go out when Optimus Prime got his first blow job? Someone blew a transformer."

"I heard that the factories in China will be close until the next GOP president. A liberal joke"