191072

Joke of the Day

"Job interview... H- ""So how would you describe yourself?"" Me- ""Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"".."

"""I'd like to raise a toast."" *Cradles bread in arms, accepting this step into motherhood*"

"The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times The previous record was held by my dad putting together a table from IKEA."

"Words can't hurt you ...unless they're ""Bet you can do that."""

"What do you call a bouncer at a gay club? A flamethrower"

"Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!"

"Why is a laundromat a bad place to pick up women? Because if she can't afford a washer and dryer, she will never be able to support your broke ass..."

"I just ordered a door bell on Amazon... Shit, how am I gonna know when it gets here?"

"What is a man's most sensitive organ while masturbating? His ears"

"Why did the Baker rob the Banker? Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk"