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Joke of the Day

"If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks."

"Every kiss begins with 'K' I whisper quietly to myself as I read his one letter response to my last 7 text messages."

"Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag."

"The most epic stage name for a Chinese porn actor would be Mao ""The Dong"""

"Give a man a fish and he'll be like, ""Dude I'm allergic to fish."" TEACH a man to fish and he'll be like, ""THTOP I THAID IM ALLERGIC TO FITH"""

"I saw something yesterday that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it."

"What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap? A farte"

"[NSFW] What's the Difference Between Peanut Butter and Jam? I can't peanut butter my dick in your ass."

"Breakups is just a fancy name for what happens when men win arguments."

"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly ? The collie wobbles !"