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Joke of the Day

"What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint? Five Guys."

"If IKEA and LEGO combined forces our children could make our furniture."

"What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesaurus"

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan? Take away its brooms."

"If you give a mouse a cookie.. If you give a mouse a cookie.. Why are you giving a mouse any food? That's unsanitary."

"So I've got this friend Dan. But when Dan gets mad, he seems kinda girly. Because when Dan gets mad, *Danielle*."

"[job interview] ""So where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Getting asked this question somewhere else"

"Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper."

"The Better Paleo Diet I'm on the Paleo diet, except I'm the caveman who discovered Snickers."