201260

Joke of the Day

"So what do you think? New hair? No Shoes? No Bag? No Pants? No * 3 days later watching TV OMG u rearranged the living room - Men"

"The only problem with shopping online is that you can't sit on a bench in the mall and judge everyone else who walks by."

"Truth time: I've been cheating on my diet. With a younger, more attractive diet."

"I hate what you've done with the place."

"What do you call an atheist bone? A blasfemur."

"I used to be a man inside a woman's body... but then I was born."

"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""

"I hired a nanny to watch my kids. Little did she know they were just two sacks of potatoes. When I got home I accused her of witchcraft."

"Why do pirates have trouble walking? Arrrr-thritis"

"What did they stamp on the Asian baby as he came out of his mother's womb? Made in Va-China."