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Joke of the Day

"I hate what you've done with the place."

"playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as ""options."""

"I was an emotional Wedding. Even the Cake was in Tiers."

"David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers."

"What is the definition of ""making love?"" It's something a woman does when a man is fucking her."

"I'm in love with you and you don't want anything to do with me so I think we can make this work"

"Did you know that if you put your ear on Beethoven's tombstone you can hear his music in reverse? He's de-composing! Heard that one on the radio this morning."

"A homeless guy asked me ""would you give me $5 for a sandwich?"" I said ""I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."""

"How do you recycle a condom? NSFW Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Her: Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom? Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper."