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Joke of the Day

"I hired a nanny to watch my kids. Little did she know they were just two sacks of potatoes. When I got home I accused her of witchcraft."

"Why don't anteaters ever get sick? Because they are full of antibodies!"

"From my 11 year old cousin: What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes? Wet."

"Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks."

"Name one thing Taylor Swift doesn't have in her purse Her boyfriend's phone number"

"Being a Miami Heat fan is like high fiving Starbucks employees while the locally owned coffee shop across the street boards up its doors."

"I don't have bumper stickers because I don't believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed."

"What would she do for $20? Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something? A dirty joke? I'm trying to find it but I can't...."

"Every time I read news about ISS Im like what did ISIS do this time... half way through the article... how the hell did they get to space. Oh wait damn you dyslexia!! edit: joke"

"Black Fathers"