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Joke of the Day

"Truth time: I've been cheating on my diet. With a younger, more attractive diet."

"How many ISIS mercenaries does it take to change a light bulb? None stupid crusader, that's a job for the hostages!"

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, it would be a chicken sedan"

"Taken from a UNIX program called fortune. Ralph: Lisa, you have no tits and a awful tight pussy. Lisa: Ralph... get off my back!!"

"You know, you don't realise what you've got until you don't have it. I just ran out of toilet paper ..."

"what does clark kent have for breakfast? alter-eggos"

"Why was Mark Fuch a terrible mailman? He keeps delivering to the wrong fuching address!"

"When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out."

"How do you tell the difference between a triathlete and biathlete? A triathlete doesn't go both ways."

"For today. * Knock knock. * Who's there? * 9/11. * 9/11 who? * [You said you wouldn't forget](/spoiler)"