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Joke of the Day

"""Ok, so you love kids and a clean house? Really, you don't drink but you like to drive?"" Me, interviewing the perfect sister wife"

"What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop!"

"How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food? By giving her a Brazilian wax first!"

"Height of complement - Lol Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails? He thought it would be a pedicure. ^^^sorry."

"How do you drown a hipster? Convince them breathing under water is the new fad."

"Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends."

"Commas can change the meaning of a sentence. Example: I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas."

"I once told a chemistry joke There was no reaction"

"Why did they plant trees in Harlem? Public transportation."