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Joke of the Day

"How do you drown a hipster? Convince them breathing under water is the new fad."

"When I see a couple sharing the same facebook account I always want to ask them which one of you got caught having an affair"

"What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray."

"What makes cheerleaders nervous? Being late"

"A moral compass is just a clock that isn't drunk enough."

"Why do seagulls only fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they'd be called Baygulls."

"What do Jedi use to open PDF files? Adobe wan Kenobi."

"Me: lets go get a drink! Friend: what's the occasion? Me: ... Friend: ... Me: I don't understand the question."

"I'm classically trained in the art of Nintendo."

"Premature Ejaculators Anonymous, Wednesday at 5:30AM I'd be there, but there's no way I'd come that early."