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Joke of the Day

"Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails? He thought it would be a pedicure. ^^^sorry."

"How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him."

"[1st date] WAITER: and how would you like your steak, miss? HER: definitely not wooden *winks across table* DRACULA: *just glares at her*"

"So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply because the wrong person will often say all the right things."

"I asked my grandfather for sex advice. He said, ""Slow down, you're going too fast."""

"What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper"

"It's funny when my wife gives me the silent treatment'. Because she thinks it's a punishmen"

"Black humor never gets old ...just like african people"

"I used to tell this great joke about homeopathy. But I've told it so many times the humour has been diluted."

"Granny, pay attention and don't panic. I need you to think hard and tell me how many brownies you ate out of the blue pan."