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Joke of the Day

"Bless me, Father, for I have used Comic Sans. It's been eight weeks since my last use of Helvetica."

"The Uranus hokes will never get old I just can stop lauging at the planets name."

"I remember, before kids, saying funny things like, ""my kids won't be watching TV and they most certainly won't be eating chicken nuggets!"""

"Why are there no cats on mars? Curiosity"

"I took over 50,000 steps today by taping my fitness bracelet to my Roomba."

"Cracked me up when I was 5, still cracks me up as an adult. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Because they have such big fingers!"

"Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. ""So it's like any other day."""

"Making Asian food is easy... It's a WOK in the park"

"Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist."

"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."