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Joke of the Day

"The Uranus hokes will never get old I just can stop lauging at the planets name."

"GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy [meeting her parents] ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?"

"The 9 circles of hell: 9) limbo 8) lust 7) gluttony 6) greed 5) anger 4) heresy 3) violence 2) fraud 1) shopping on Black Friday"

"""I think I have split personalities"", ......Said Steve, being frank."

"Have you ever noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are ones you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? There's such balance in nature!"

"No internet access in Cairo- Now the country is just called Gypt."

"I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'."

"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"

"Why aren't there any black magicians? Because magic is stupid."

"What do 9 out of 10 people consider a good time? Gang rape."