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Joke of the Day

"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."

"Think about how much women could accomplish if they didn't spend half the day taking pictures of themselves in bathroom mirrors."

"What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant? I am saury."

"Best Classic Joke Ever... So Seinfeld says ""What's the deal with airline food!?"" LMAO"

"A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets crabs He calls her out on it, and she replies, ""I was only $10. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"A recent study has found that 90% of dead people don't breathe. The other 10% didn't respond to the survey."

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious"

"did you hear about the guy with five penises? his pants fit like a glove."

"British humor A cop walks into a bar responding to a call about a youngster making a ruckus. He asked the young lad ""just what are ya getting on with lad?"" The lad responds,"" none of yobishness mate"""

"me: wtf how am i getting life in prison for running over an eagle with my car my lawyer: again, that was the Philadelphia Eagles mascot"