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Joke of the Day

"What qualifies as a ""short stack"" of pancakes? I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right? Yes? Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack."

"I got lost in a closet as a child... When I came out, my parents, although supportive, really weren't that happy."

"What is a cannibal's favorite type of gum? Chick clits."

"What is the definition of suspicion? A nun doing push ups in a cucumber field."

"What do you call an envious ocean? A jealou'sea'"

"Get a big metal box, label it ""TIME CAPSULE"" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2011 was like."

"What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ? A catastrophe !"

"What's the best part about getting a puppy? Getting new shoes every week."

"[god to lions] You will be the symbol of power and prestige [sees the crickets] Ew. Uh...you guys just yell real loud when a comedian bombs"

"How do you blind fold an asian? You put floss over their eyes!"