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Joke of the Day

"I got lost in a closet as a child... When I came out, my parents, although supportive, really weren't that happy."

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"The funny thing about the shit I just took is? I don't remember eating that much blood"
"I'd rather spend my Saturday with the dead arm from '127 Hours' than attend a baby shower."
"getting my loan approved at the bank by lying on my back and executing a series of flawless air kicks right there in the lobbby"
"What is Gordon Ramsay's favourite movie? It's fucking Frozen!!!!!"
"What is the name of a taxi service for bears? Ubear."
"Mark Morrison took his new computer back to the Apple store... Return of the Mac."
"What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime? Don't talk with someone in your mouth."
"I was homeless for 10 years and decided to apply for a position to hold a company's sign on the sidewalk... The company told me that they were sorry but I was overqualified."
"Why some people like Donald Trump... Because he doesn't beat around the ""Bush"""