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Joke of the Day

"I got lost in a closet as a child... When I came out, my parents, although supportive, really weren't that happy."

"What's the difference between a baby and a freezer? a freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it"

"My friend got a pretty bad haircut I told him it would grow on him"

"Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear."

"For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage."

"My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday. Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive."

"Why did the computer squeak? Someone stepped on the mouse."

"How did the hooker kill herself.. She blew her brains out!"

"Your mama is so fat... If she falls she drops harder than Skrilex..."

"Cop: You doin drugs? ""No"" Cop: Whatya smokin? ""Pot"" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS ""Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"""