19924

Joke of the Day

"Why do southern girls get pregnant so much more than northern girls? Because it takes them so much longer to say ""Kaaa-WIT!"""

"""Hey honey"" *drags a cigarette* ""have you ever"" *drinks some scotch* ""slept with a guy"" *sucks a lollipop* ""with three arms?"""

"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother!"

"An Irishman walked out of a bar"

"you call it the Irish Goodbye, I call it the I Never Wanted To Be Here In The First Place See You In Hell"

"If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong"

"What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires? What's a movie?"

"you know who else had a ""fun hat phase""? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy"

"Two jews walk into a bar. They buy it."

"*walks into son's room to find a recording of him snoring* Dear God *dials 911* Help, a wizard turned my son into a 90's cassette player"