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Joke of the Day

"Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""Is that a napkin on your head?"" Pirate replies "" No, it be a bounty""."

"I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now."

"A logician just had a baby Her friends ask her: ""A boy or a girl?"" She replies: ""Yes"""

"Took the sticker off a banana, put it on my shirt and said, ""I hereby deputize you to uphold the law in Bananatown!"" Elevator is silent now."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The trick is getting them in there."

"Don't over-share. Don't over-share. Don't over-share. Don't over-share. Don't over-share. HI I'M A NERVOUS POOPER. ... Nailed it!"

"What does a masturbating Latvian sound like? One potato two potato three potato splat!"

"Little do you know that in my head I've already married you, divorced you, and hidden your body."

"[Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] ""YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"""

"Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds."