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Joke of the Day

"I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now."

"You remind me of Monday... Because nobody likes you"

"big pharma. if youre reading this i have an idea for a pill that makes you tinier so you can fit into secret zones. i will let you invent it"

"My sister said she won't let me see her kids because I'm a sex offender! Who would keep a father from their own kids?"

"How's everyone holding up ? It's crazy out there. I've killed at least 15 zombies already !! Why are they all carrying candy ?"

"TIFU by messing up my wife's Subway order. Whoops, wrong sub."

"My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Severe Dandruff... He's been really flaky lately."

"Computer Joke: What do you call a fat man's jacket? Firmware"

"Can I still watch 300 if I haven't seen the first 299"

"I'm badman! bad to whom? whoman!"