198831

Joke of the Day

"The first person to ever call me a psycho was Lorraine from high school. Height 5'4, coffin size 84 by 28 by 23."

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"Why didnt the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe"
"What quality was the wine that Jesus made ? Bloody good."
"Don't bite the hand that feeds. In fact, don't bite anyone's hand you fucking weirdo."
"An English Girl.. WIFE: ""I'm going to LONDON. What gift do you want?"" HUSBAND: ""An English girl."" After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: ""Where is my gift?"" WIFE: ""Wait for nine months!"""
"THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he always narrates real life- ME: she complained WIFE: see! ME: she exclaimed WIFE: ME: she was speechless"
"What's the difference between Trump and Dave Who the hell is Trump?"
"What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas? Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)"
"Since the Intel processors are named i3, i5 and i7... does that mean Intel can't even?"
"Rudolph's red nose is actually the result of a parasitic infection in his respiratory system. Stay woke."