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Joke of the Day
"I finally decided I want to be a car mechanic. Guess it just took some motor-vation."
Next Joke
"What's black white and red all over Michael Jackson in a blender."
"Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign Me: I got lost in the music C: what song? M: I'd rather not say C: what song?!? M: I saw the sign"
"I like my coffee like I like my minorities... ... I don't."
"Coffee asked ""Why do I always get coal in my stocking."" Santa: Because your on the Not Tea list."
"I'm trying to convince this guy that 'jesus is the reason for the season' but loansharks have a different perspective"
"Whatever you do, always give 100% Unless you're donating blood"
"Restraining order Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate? He kept trying to plunder her booty."
"What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flamethrower"
"Kanye West tweeted that Bieber's 'What Do You Mean?' was 2015's best song. The ""...which wouldn't happened without me"" tweet coming soon."