100088

Joke of the Day

"THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he always narrates real life- ME: she complained WIFE: see! ME: she exclaimed WIFE: ME: she was speechless"

"Interviewer: Your resume only has ""Mad"" under ""Skills"" Me: Yeah boyee Interviewer: *tears up* You're just what we need. Welcome to Subway."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy? Security at Samsung."

"My Grandma's favorite saying Life is the ultimate disease. Its sexually transmitted and terminal."

"Your mama so stupid that..... Your mama so stupid that she threw a rock at the ground and missed"

"What did the deer say when he left the gay bar? I can't believe I blew 50 bucks!"

"[talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello"

"Why did the satanist become a lawyer? He wanted to be the devil's advocate."

"What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick? Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican."