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Joke of the Day

"A guy is fingering his girlfriend... ...after a while, she starts to shift uncomfortably and says ""would you mind taking your ring off, please?"" The guy responds: ""what ring? That's my wristwatch!"""

"Just turned my welcome mat into an unwelcome mat by spray painting ""CANCER"" across it"

"Males ejaculate at 27 mph. That explains why its illegal to do it in a school zone."

"Q: How many letters 'T' are in Indiana Jones? A: 17. Ta-ta-tat'-taaa ta-ta-taa Ta-ta-tat'-taaa ta-taa-taa-taaa!"

"My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too."

"Why do nice guys make good lovers? They always finish last."

"What do you call two nuns playing a bongo? A conundrum."

"How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb? Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better."

"How many Scene kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Cyberpunk Barbie ...includes 'trodes and implants"