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Joke of the Day

"How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb? Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better."

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"why aren't mexicans and blacks suppose to have kids? because the children will be to lazy to steal."
"If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue."
".. How are you on your grind, if you're on twitter all the time?"
"Today I saw a guy driving around with upward of 10 parking tickets on his windshield. Now what were you saying about not giving a fuck?"
"How did Australians get ebola? By eating at Outbreak Steak House"
"This is how I like to review my books: I look at their prose and cons."
"Whats's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."
"What s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms."
"MAN: What are you doing? ME: [pointing gun at lake] Fishing MAN: No way will- SALMON: [walks out of lake with fins up]"