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Joke of the Day

"How many Scene kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"My German plumber just hooked my gas line to my shower. I guess old habits die hard."

"That awkward moment when the operator asks you to read back the confirmation number."

"My grandma is 80 years old, and still doesn't need glasses... She drinks right out of the bottle."

"Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start."

"What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !"

"I realized why the media isn't taking my presidential campaign seriously. Occasionally, I'll slip up and accidentally tell the truth."

"Went to the opticians today leaving with them telling me my eye sight is better than 20/20. So when I say you look like a C*NT, i think i know what i'm talking about."

"I've been called the Trump of the bedroom... Because sex with me builds up emotional walls that they end up paying for."

"Have you heard about the man born with five cocks? His pants fit him like a glove."