179342
Joke of the Day
"Why do nice guys make good lovers? They always finish last."
Next Joke
"What is that white thing in my pork&beans? The Queen Bean. *Blatantly stolen from Ren & Stimpy"
"*Jesus comes into the house* Judas: Jesus, close the door! Were you born in a barn? *room gets super quiet* Judas: Uh right. I forgot. Sorry"
"My dad: People overcome adversity all the time son... Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?"
"What is heavier -- 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? 200 pounds of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds."
"What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not ""nacho cheese"")? Leave my provolone!"
"If someone says ""I will do anything for you"" lean in really close and say ""There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."""
"Bill Gates How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb? He buys a new house."
"What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs? We abuse"
"When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell ""Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!"" Respect my privacy."