198266

Joke of the Day

"When I drink alcohol, everyone says that I'm an alcoholic. But when I drink Fanta, no one says that I'm Fantastic."

"Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? The picture of Jesus only needs one nail to hang up."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Trump? Hitler knew when to kill himself."

"Two owls were playing pool. One said ""Two hits."" The other replied ""Two hits to who?"""

"Yo Momma So Fat Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."

"Growing up in a household dominated by females, you learn: 1. The importance of listening 2. 101 euphemisms for ""the monthly visitor"""

"INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING."

"I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."

"Does anyone else feel like a 25yr old trapped in a 40yr+ body???"

"Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her."